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The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World, by Desmond Tutu
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Review
“A primer for not only finding the path for healing ourselves and the world, but for restoring balance in our biology, mind, and spirit.” (Deepak Chopra, author of What Are You Hungry For?)“Includes instructions on how to forgive, as well as scientific and moral reasons to do so. No one is unforgiveable; it takes a moral icon such as Tutu to credibly assert this. . . . This book belongs on nightstands, shelves, and altars everywhere.” (Publishers Weekly (starred review))“There is no one who embodies the virtue of forgiveness like Desmond Tutu. With this book, he and his daughter take forgiveness out of the realm of mystery and offer a handbook on forgiveness, revealing this most exacting and freeing of human capacities in all its complexity and transformative achievability.” (Krista Tippett, Host/Executive Producer of On Being)“What better guides and teachers on forgiveness than Bishop Tutu and his daughter who have lived faithfully through the hardest most demanding days of South Africa! This book meets an urgent need among us, and does so with wisdom, realism, and generosity.” (Walter Brueggemann, author of The Prophetic Imagination)“Desmond Tutu shows each of us how to transform our pain and sorrow into hope and confidence in the future. Whether you are the head of a country or the head of a household, you will cherish his words.” (Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa and Nobel Peace Prize recipient)“For decades [Tutu] has been a moral titan—a voice of principle, an unrelenting champion of justice, and a dedicated peacemaker . . . an outspoken voice for freedom and justice in countries across the globe; a staunch defender of the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons.” (President Barack Obama)“[Tutu’s] unofficial legacy will be his life and the story of how this tiny pastor with a huge laugh from South Africa became our global guardian.” (TIME)“Archbishop Tutu has the ability to see our shared humanity in each person he meets, and to get us to do the same.” (Bill Clinton)“Archbishop Desmond Tutu, like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. before him, has offered us a luminous vision of love and hope. With his great warmth and compassion, Archbishop Tutu offers a spiritual message that if heeded can change lives as well as history.” (Jimmy Carter)“I have the highest regard for my good and trusted friend Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I admire him for the wonderful, warm person he is and especially for the human principles he upholds.” (His Holiness the Dalai Lama)
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From the Back Cover
How do I forgive?Nobel laureate Archbishop Desmond Tutu has witnessed some of the worst crimes people can inflict on others. So wherever he goes, he inevitably gets asked this question. This book is his answer. Writing with his daughter, Mpho, an Anglican priest, they lay out the simple but profound truths about the significance of forgiveness, how it works, why everyone needs to know how to grant it and receive it, and why granting forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves when we have been wronged.They explain the four-step process of forgiveness—Telling the Story, Naming the Hurt, Granting Forgiveness, and Renewing or Releasing the Relationship—as well as offer meditations, exercises, and prayers to guide the reader along the way."With each act of forgiveness, whether small or great, we move toward wholeness," they write. "Forgiveness is how we bring peace to ourselves and our world."
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: HarperOne; Reprint edition (April 7, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0062203576
ISBN-13: 978-0062203571
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.5 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
232 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#8,027 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book is one I have searched for a very long time. It goes into detail about what it actually feels like to forgive, what forgiveness is and equally importantly, what it is not. It's the first time I've seen laid out a course of action for achieving forgiveness and getting on with the rest of one's life. The book is simply written, the language is basic level--anyone who can read can understand it--and there are lots of examples throughout which help the reader understand the concepts presented. Dr. Tutu and his daugher Mpho have written an important book for the regular human being ... and made the too-frequently arcane and obscure topic of forgiveness crystal clear. A valuable book for anyone who has forgiveness issues.
This is probably the best book on forgiveness that I have read, and I have read many books on the subject. Most of the books that I've read just talk about all the reasons why you should forgive, and I am well aware of all the reasons why - I don't need another book telling me all the reasons - I've been looking for books that give the how do you go about this - how do you get there when you are so bitter and so angry. This is something that I struggle with more than any other issue - not only do I struggle with forgiving others, but I struggle with forgiving myself more than anything else - The struggle that I've had is why do I have to pay the price for what other people have done to me? why do I have to suffer so much - why do I have to experience so much pain. I see from this book that a person gets stuck in an endless loop that has no way out but forgiveness - that's the only path to freedom. I think that in our society nobody wants to hear about your pain and suffering. they want you to get past it already - it's like I'm never supposed to say anything so I stuff all my feelings. This book in many ways gives you permission to feel. That there is another way ..
As I struggle with my past, this book has opened my eyes that forgiveness is possible for me. I've never saw or thought about forgiving myself as part of my history. I so desperately want forgiveness from my daughter for being so mean to her while she was growing up. My anger became her anger, and now we rarely speak to one another. This book has many examples of people overcoming their demons and receiving forgiveness for themselves and from their victims. Truly and eye opener book to know I don't struggle along. I'll be re-reading this wonderful book. The Tutu's have a wonderful way to present the the 4-step forgiveness process. If you're in need of forgiveness or need to forgive someone - this is the place to start. I wish I had known of this book years ago and maybe my struggles wouldn't have consumed me for so long.
I ordered this book for my son after completing the Tutu Forgiveness Challenge on line. (Check out the intro video with his daughter. Delightful!) At first I found it almost simplistically silly. But as I continued to force myself to work the daily challenge, I begin to realize this simple little program was having a defined effect upon and within me. Archbishop Tutu in concert with his daughter, Reverend Mpho Tutu have compiled a successful program reflected within the pages of this little book: "a manual on the art of forgiveness—helping us to realize that we are all capable of healing and transformation."The book was born out of the trials of South Africa. Rather than altercations after suspension of apartheid, "this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation." The book takes its reader through four steps of forgiveness toward healing: admitting and acknowledging any wrong or potential harm; telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; asking for and granting forgiveness; renewing or releasing the relationship. Their simplistic method allows the participant --- IF willing --- to look deeply within their psyche, acknowledging their feelings and emotions. At times when journaling what I was feeling, I allowed myself, without judgment, to feel the anger, sadness, joy or happiness I was experiencing. And this little exercise of putting it all down on paper, allowed a tremendous release from these old issues. By the end of the 30 day program, my mental, spiritual and physical health and well-being had undergone a true transformation. For that reason alone I purchased The Book of Forgiving as a gift, hoping my son will choose to release some of the anger bottled within his soul.RECOMMEND PRODUCT. RECOMMEND SELLER.
In The Book of Forgiving, Desmond Tutu and his daughter, Mpho Tutu are inviting us to join them on the path of forgiveness so that we can 'heal the world by healing each and every one of our hearts'. I was invited to share my story of forgiveness for this book, which is quite an honor, and when I received my copy upon its release, I was surprised at how much grief I hadn't yet processed as I read it. I have told my story many times, both in person and in writing. Telling the Story is the first step on this Fourfold Path of Forgiveness. Naming the Hurt is the second step on the path and this is where I had not completed the journey. I had no words to name my hurt over losing my husband and 13 year old daughter in a terrorist attack. I certainly felt it but it was so overwhelming that I plunged into the third step of Granting Forgiveness so that I could restore peace within myself. I discovered I could not truly Release the Relationship to this event and Renew my relationship with life without Naming the Hurt. Even now my eyes fill with tears as I write this. Healing the heart is a process of liberation that requires full acknowledgement of the emotional pain that splits the heart into pieces. I am so grateful to Desmond and Mpho Tutu for outlining the importance of this step and giving many examples from the stories of others who have suffered violent, unexpected losses of dear ones. By allowing ourselves to fully accept the reality by naming it, frees us from being bound by the shackles of that which cannot be changed. Forgiveness is then possible. By practicing this Fourfold Path on a regular basis we not only create inner peace, we give the gift of peace to everyone in our world.
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